having body hair annoys me but removing body hair also annoys me and also life, life annoys me
[aggressively thinks about having sex with you while keeping a straight face]
That is all. Carry on with your lives my fellow Conservatives.
how does phone sex end?
*aggressively calls girlfriend*
I have a really hot waiter.Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.
me: ok i’ll study at 8:00
me: *pretends i didn’t see*